Just some funny stuff…I wasn’t going to share these stories, BUT as I got to thinking…IF you know me at all then these stories are what makes me the mom I am…and they are the reason my kids are…well, just the way they are. These are true stories of my life!
So…awhile back the kids and I were doing something original before they headed off to bed...we were watching a movie – ha! Meanwhile I was probably blogging when I was skyped by Jeffrey. I was super excited to chat with him, but I knew it would end up in chaos because the kids were still up, but I took my chances and answered! He wasn’t alone. I mean it was just him we could see but it was obvious that his room was full of other buddies.
Cause isn’t that always how it goes!
We got to talk forever, a good 20 seconds before the kids realized who it was…then slowly they each one by one crept into the frame. This time they were genuinely excited to see Uncle Jeffrey and not just watch themselves on TV…the computer screen. But just like all skype calls the kids all got to the point when they are all pretty much on top of me and my shoulders pushing me flat and taking over. It took me a while to get back control and we were getting ready for ‘taking turns’ with Jeffrey and Ella was first so she was making her way over and stops short, points and touches my huge black mole on the side of my neck and says, “Nipple!” She smiled and both Skype ends got super quiet and still. I was in shock trying to digest what had just happened…and about a second of complete silence (which felt like a year) the laughter totally broke out. Coming to my senses knowing full well what the laughing was going to do I tried to get Ella out of the room…to NO avail and so she preceds yelling, “Nipple, ha, ha, Nipple, Nipple, Nipple, Nipple, Mommy has a nipple on her neck!”
Holy what just went down!
At this point I could clearly see Jeffrey in tears because he wasn’t able o breath in-between the laughter…and the entire room was in an uproar of laughter! I thought I was going to die. I should have just closed out and cried…but I’m too proud to just walk away so I gave Ella the “YOU ARE GOING TO DIE IF YOU DON”T GET OUT OF THIS ROOM” look and just said to Jeffrey and the room full of guys I couldn’t see but could hear, “OK…well…now that you’ve all had a good laugh, and I am humiliated to no end…I’m going to go now before Ella decides to write a song about the MOLE…aka nipple on my neck…love you Jeffrey, BYE!” Then I hung up.
The awesome thing is as soon as I got off I should have ripped Ella to pieces with how rude that was and how she knew that was a not good choice, etc. but I just fell onto my knees on the floor and laughed for a good 5 minutes. I sat up to find all 3 of the kids on their knees laughing as well!
So then I MUST ask my friends who told me, “don’t make up silly names for your private parts…they are going to sound silly…” WHAT?? Because THIS is exactly the reason for making up funny names for these body parts so then at least only I would have known what she was saying!
Oh, hummm!
San Fran; Alcatraz Gay Guys.
Ok…now please understand that this is NOT my way of bashing gay people. I fully believe that people that take this route are sinners…and I totally believe that homosexuality is wrong; read:
1 Corinthians 6:9-10
but I also don’t hate these people either. I know a handful who have gone this way and I we were great friends in high school. I feel just as sorry for them as I do for the husband that fell into temptation while being married, or the habitual liar who knows what’s he’s doing.
I really try to love the sinner but hate the sin and I have a hard time with bashing them because the Bible also tells us that “ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23. Which really means that I sin just as they do.
Anyway, just wanted to make that clear.
We are at Alcatraz and the kids are coming close to their ends. They really did an outstanding job. But we were walking slowly thru the gift shop checking out all the memorabilia and at the same time Mark stopped to look at the magnets I noticed the kids' jaws had all dropped almost to the floor. I followed their eyes to see what was causing this and that’s when I noticed 2 men having way too much…hmm…I can’t say fun…so…let's say they were being VERY not cool (I would seriously be saying the same about any boy/girl couple doing this). And so here I am trying to push them along without being totally obvious. I whispered, “Come on kids, let’s keep walking...” nothing. “Mark, honey…let's move…come on…please listen to mommy!!” Still no movement.
This time I just simply said, “gays” and he moved super quick.
I was expecting a question beat down from my kids…NOTHING! Sweet!! As I thought back about it they were SO into each other that it was hard to tell that they were both guys…so later we did talk about being appropriate in public places and acting our best. I think the gay community tries TOO hard to be recognized…they are really just hurting. But it was pretty funny!
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